"Almost Famous"

"Rachel Jordan", call your office. This excerpt is from 'Almost Famous: The "celebrities" who love the GOP', by Rob Long, at Slate.com:

Even for me, an ultra-loyal Republican, the two creepiest words in the English language are "Christian rock".I've listened to my fair share of it, too -- long drive across the country; busted iPod -- and there's something so weird about it. It sounds like regular bad music when you first tune in. The lyrics always seem like regular bad music lyrics, too -- "I feel your body next to mine/ And that makes my whole life shine" -- but after a second or two you realize that they're singing about Jesus, not some girl named Mandy, and the whole thing just seems, well, creepy. Because rock music -- and most other forms of entertainment, when you really think about it -- is fundamentally about carnal desire. And Jesus, when you really think about it, is fundamentally not.

Which is all a long way of saying that I don't think I'm going to enjoy the "entertainment" portion of the Republican National Convention. It won't all be Christian rock, of course. According to the most recent RNC press release, conventioneers will be treated to country music acts such as Brooks & Dunn, Lee Ann Womack, Darryl Worley, and Donnie McClurkin. They'll be joining Michael W Smith, Daniel Rodriguez, Daize Shayne, Sara Evans, and Dana Glover on the podium. Sounds exciting, no? I'm aware that I'm going to sound like one of those liberal Democrat media snobs -- which is unfair, because I'm a conservative Republican media snob -- but who are these people? I live in Venice, California, so I happen to know who Daize Shayne is -- Google her yourself, if you're interested -- but most of the other names are drawing big blanks.

There are rumors, of course, that Britney Spears is a closet Bushie -- which might be true; she's from Louisiana, right? -- and we've all seen Ted Nugent's Republican spiel. But the sad truth is, the real difference between Democrats and Republicans is that their celebrities are, like, actually famous and ours are, well, singing weirdly erotic songs about Our Savior. [...]

There's at least one very crass pun waiting in that excerpt, but you'll have to work it our for yourselves since I'm not going to stoop to that level.

More on Catholics in Crisis

I have read both the St Matthias Briefing's "Catholics in Crisis" article and the book A Long Way From Rome that it reviews. The book is disappointing from an evangelical perspective. A collection of ageing baby-boomers who want to liberalise Catholicism, and occasionally try to appropriate analogies from Protestantism to do so (the usual suspects: "a new Reformation", Luther nailing his theses to the church door, etc). The Catholic liberals make the same mistakes as the traditionalists: they assume that Protestantism is more liberal than Catholicism. This is true in precisely two (2) areas: if you are a clergyman who wants to marry, and if you are a married couple who want to use contraception. (And even in these areas, Catholicism allows ex-Protestant ministers to stay married even after being re-ordained as Catholic priests, and markets timed-abstinence methods of birth control as being more reliable than pills and condoms). In just about every other theological area, the adherents of sola Scriptura either agree with the Pope (eg, on homosexuality) or are stricter (eg, on whether God permits Christians to pray to saints or to pray alongside Muslims).

The Briefing review I found a bit fluffy, and light on analysis of the book. The most interesting part was the note at the end -- that the author "became a Christian at the age of 19 and was a member of the Roman Catholic Church for 29 years". Unless Jensenism now encompasses some Mormon-type belief in the pre-existence of spirit babies up to a decade prior to conception, I take this as evidence against the often-raised charge that the Sydney Anglicans around the Carlingford Vatican regard [all] Catholics as "non-Christians".

CATHOLICS IN CRISIS

Just in from Matthias Media (actually a little while ago as i haven't opend the e-mail until just now) - article on CATHOLICS IN CRISIS of interest in the free edition of this month's Briefing

UPDATE:
This is actually a review of A Long Way From Rome: Why The Australian Catholic Church Is In Crisis, Chris McGillion (ed)

As an ex-Catholic with deep concerns for my friends and family who are still in the Catholic Church, I read this book wanting to find a glilmmer of hope for them within its pages. I was disappointed.

Download the August copy of St Matthias Briefing - free! (1.4mb, pdf format)

Visit now

HMAS BALLARAT

Recently i had the opportunity to visit HMAS Ballarat the latest ANZAC-class frigate in the Australian Navy. Very nice, but just a little too squeezy for my liking. The last time I was on a Naval vessel was in 1992 on the HMAS Brisbane. The Brisbane is now being prepared to be sunk as a diving wreck off the coast of Queensland. Ironically, at the time of my recent visit, HMAS Brisbane was moored alongside HMAS Ballarat - the old with the new. Quite a contrast.

Caroline Cox

Recently I had the opportunity to hear Baroness Caroline Cox speak at a local gathering about her work with Christian Solidarity Worldwide (an interview with her on ABC's Religion Report can be found here).

I spoke with her briefly after the event, mentioning that I had looked her up on the internet before coming, to which she responded that there were a number of unfavorable things said about her by the Sudanese Government. I re-read these for myself, and after hearing her speak for myself and meeting her personally (albeit briefly), she didn't really strike me as the kind of person described in AboutSudan.com - she is put in the same boat as the CIA! About Sudan.com is affliliated with some paranoid totalitarian mob called "Executive Intelligence Review" and boast that all monies collected beyond operating costs goes to "charities" (and after September 11, we all know what that means, don't we?).

A quote from their site gives it all up:

But, just as the Lady is, indeed, no lady, so the CSI is anything but
Christian. Beneath the veneer of humanitarian concern for the oppressed, is one
of the most important tools of British Intelligence. Its actual function, as the
documented record shows, is to implement a policy dubbed the "Clash of
Civilizations" by another operative of British Intelligence, Bernard Lewis, and
popularized by yet another of their stripe, Samuel Huntington. Through political
operations, which often include intelligence and military activities, CSI has
been in the forefront of efforts to foment conflict between Christians and
non-Christians, most specifically, Muslims. The war in Sudan is a case in point,
and perhaps a showcase of CSI methods.

No punches are pulled here. Obviously, some Sudanese sympathisers don't like anything Bristish very much, as they were the former colonial power in the region. I suppose they might feel the same about Australia. Old Aussie had its say in that way back in the late 1800's when we sent a contingent to the Sudan, and we struck a medal and awarded it to veterans to commemorate it (along with our other pre-Federation forays to South Africa to put a stop to those damn Boers and to China to quell the Boxer Rebellion on behalf of Queen and Empire).

Who or what is driving this diatribe? Read more deeply into About Sudan.com, and come up with three countries with regularity - Iraq, Iran and - surprise surprise - Saudi Arabia, including the oil and construction firm of the Bin Laden's. What a nice place. And Caroline Cox is planning to go back, even though the Khartoum government had given her a "5-year sentence in absentia". She is hardly a spy - she is one brave woman. And if the current Sudanese government have anything to do with it, she is more like a potential martyr to the cause of human rights.

BTW I wrote to the government of Sudan to have a whinge about their human rights record using a letter supplied by Amnesty international (yes, AI think there's something rotten in Khartoum too). But the Sudanese Government aren't really up with the times, and don't really have great access to the WWW yet. The e-mail bounced (I sent it to the Canadian Embassy, as there is no Sudanese representation in Australia) but I have found what looks like a more reliable address and I will try again.

LZXRAY

Interesting site I just browsed into. Having read the book and seen the movie "We were soldiers once and young", I was obviously attracted. Of especially interest is the opportunity to download some actual combat camera footage.

WRT the book / film - I read the book in order to understand the film better, as Col. Hal Moore in the DVD special features claimed this was "a soldier's movie - as it was".

Well, it must have been damn confusing, because the film didn't make a whole lot of sense at times! It was a Mel Gibson effort after all, so enthusiasm sometimes gets in the way of accuracy (witness The Passion), but I still was interested enough to explore further.

The film only tells half the story - after LZ XRay the yanks went onto to LZ Albany and got slaughtered in a classic ambush, and only superior firepower saved the day. This is left out of the film (as it would make it twice as long) but is probably the better lesson.

Reminds me of the battle of the Teutoburger Wald, inspiring the famous cry by Emperor Augustus, "Varus, give me back my legions"

(by the way the traitor was a turncoat general named "Arminius". Hmmm.)

NEW TEMPLATE

Been playing with the templates lately - like this one?

It mean all my polls, counters, gifs, jpegs etc dies away, but it should make the site easier to laod - and easier to change!

Now, if i can only fill it with worthwhile content. Hmm...

BLOG UPDATE
Have done some updates . . .
1. Google search removed - Blogger supplies now
2. Picture for Merchandise removed - speed
3. Terror Alert Status removed - speed
4. Tagboard removed - generates popups

GEORGE BUSH'S BLOG

Yes .. now online, and inspired by this article in The Onion

EXTREME IRONING

Visit http://www.extremeironing.com/

It's sport, it's extreme, it's... ironing!
Possibly the most bizarre extreme sport on Earth celebrates its first ever world championships next month.
Extreme Ironing devotees like nothing more than removing creases from their clothes halfway up cliffs, on top of mountains or in busy city streets. Its creator Phil Shaw, of Leicester, says it "combines the thrill of an extreme sport with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt".

From http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2176024.stm

Googles' cached article about Australian enthusiasts from The Age here

Australia Chapter at http://www.extremeironingoz.com/

THERE'S PANDEMONIUM HERE... EXTRAORDINARY EMOTIONAL SCENES
YES!!! There's nothing like vindication - better than revenge! Ian Thorpe WINS Olympic Gold in the Men's 400m final.

For all those knockers out there who now stand up and say, "I knew he could do it" let me say I WAS WITH HIM ALL ALONG!!!

Where were YOU in the hard times, in the dark times, in the times when Australia turned its back and said , "Shame"?

NOWHERE then, and NOWHERE now.

Read it and weep.

WIENERS AND NUT JOBS NEED NOT APPLY
Check out the CNN article - why do the lawyers get to have all the fun?

...The flash animation movie swirling around the Internet with President George Bush and Senator John Kerry singing to the tune of Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land."

Bush: "You're a liberal sissy!"
Kerry: "You're a right wing nut job!"
Both: "This land will surely vote for me!"

The bit is hilarious. Unless you are The Richmond Organization, a music publisher that owns the copyright to Guthrie's tune through its Ludlow Music unit.

"This puts a completely different spin on the song," said Kathryn Ostien, director of copyright licensing for the publisher. "The damage to the song is huge."

Visit http://www.jibjab.com to see what I mean. And yes it is funny. But by describing Bush as an idiot with no brain who likes to war monger, the song does more for Bush than Michael Moore could ever hope to damage him with those same words. Americans seem to like a President who is, like their popular culture, sports and approach to foreign policy, a no-brainer.

FAR-FETCHED-HYPE 9/11
Ok, I have now seen the globally renowned flick "Fahrenheit 9/11" and now feel qualified to add my two cents to the equation.

I suppose I shall muse on this more, but my initial impressions upon leaving the cinema were:

1. Americans are stupid, dumb, thick, ignorant - does MM really hate his own countrymen that much? And are two little old ladies in a nursing home really qualified to speak with any authority on anything except whether dinner should be at 4 o'clock or 4:30?
2. Americans are fat - really fat. Unless you are a Marine. But even one of those recruiter guys was pretty portly. Even the politicians are fat, stupid or both (but not neither).
3. No so much that hundreds if not thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians were killed, but that Americans debased themselves by killing them "immorally"
4. Very "lite-on" about Weapons of Mass Destruction
5. ONE image / mention of Bush-poodle Tony Blair, and none of Bush-lap-dog John Howard. C'mon, didn't we make a bigger impression than that? Some stock B & W footage of a man boxing a kangaroo is not enough. If Australia is not important enough to feature more prominently in a Michael Moroe documentary, we should withdraw from Iraq, the UN and ANZUS immediately!
6. America is one big weird messed-up place
7. Michael Moore has an uncontrolled bias - not towards the Democrats or against Republicans per se, but towards the little guy, the small man, the mom and pop store, small town America, all those other cliches. If you are small, you are good. If you are big, you are bad. Well, how about YOU Michael?
8. Iraqi grandmothers would kill you as soon as look at you if they had a smoking AK-47 to hand and you were an unarmed American
9. The number of tenuous links you can make between the President of the United States of America and Terrorists is equal to, but not greater than, the connection between you and anyone else on the planet (aka "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon")
10. When government is run like a business, business ends up running government.

GADZOOKS! IT"S KAZOOK!

From Star Wars .com

In developing the look of Kashyyyk, the Art Department first turned to the much-maligned 1978 television special to see what had come before. "We watched that on a loop about four or five times, avoided suicide, and went back to work," laughs Church. Though produced on a variety show scale, the Holiday Special's Wookiee world (then called Kazhyyyk -- pronounced, oddly, as 'Kazook') did have an establishing shot of a Wookiee domicile rendered as a painting by Ralph McQuarrie. The set built for the show -- the inside of Chewbacca's home -- was a mix of flashy sci-fi tech and carved-from-wood naturalism

Any one who has ever sat through the Star Wars holiday special will know what they mean. I only ever recall seeing about half of this way back in the late 1970's or early 1980's as a kid when it was shown on TV. My vague recollection also includes a comic book style cartoon starring Boba Fett and that Chewie had a family and lived up in the treetops. A lot like Ewoks on steriods. For a crack-up review see http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/star-wars-holiday-special.html

STAND-UP, STAND-UP FOR JESUS... Interesting piece in The New Yorker about "edgy" Christian comedian Brad Stine:

"He aimed most of his barbs at liberals and unbelievers, but Christians took flak, too. He did an impression of a Protestant, whining, “Satan made me lose my job!” (“No—your incompetence made you lose your job!”), and made fun of churches that organize “Harry Potter” book burnings (“Here’s a good rule of thumb: If Hitler tried it—maybe go the other way”)."

If you count Mark Steyn as a Christian -- which he apparently is, even though his columns are light on the God talk -- that makes two.

THE RIDICULES OF CHRONIC...

To answer my co-blogger's question, I saw Chronicles of Riddick on the weekend. Verdict: 7 out of 10. Imagine, say, if Stargate (the 1995 movie) had been filmed by Tim Burton, and you've got the general idea. Like Stargate itself, not awful, in many areas quite intriguing and thought-provoking, but could overall have been done better. Also bits of Starship Troopers, Judge Dredd and, indeed, most of the other not-awful-but-also-sub-LotR/ Gladiator level science fiction/ fantasy/ sword-n-sandals stuff served up over the past 12 years (ie, since film spec-fi reached its absolute nadir in 1992 [*])... And also very large chunks of Alien-3 (and Alien Resurrection). Not surprising, seeing as David Twohy scripted both. Stephen King once told an interviewer that, if he were a "serious" author, the critics would rave that "King is now re-visiting themes that are integral to his work". But since he was Stephen King, all they'd write was "King is starting to eat himself".

The most interesting element (excuse pun) of Riddick is its bad guys -- a Nazified warrior death-cult called the Necromongers, who sweep across the galaxy on a jihad crusade to convert or kill entire worlds' populations. These guys are about six-tenths the Borg, three-tenths the Harkonnens and/or the Sardaukar from David Lynch's 1984 "Hmm, melange pie" version of Dune, and the remaining one-tenth the aliens from Dark City.

The least interesting element of Riddick is what the producers, and I assume Vin Diesel (the film's star and driving force), seem to have considered the most interesting: the punch-ups and knife-fights. They go to the trouble of postulating an intriguing future interstellar civilisation, and an intriguing bunch of enemies whose alien religion and eldritch powers threaten it... but they don't pay it too much attention. In the end, Riddick wins because simply he's a tougher, meaner, head-kicking badass than even these death-cult super-Sardaukars who're in his way. He wins, basically, by dragging himself across a sun-scorched rockscape and by killing someone in a knife fight. He doesn't win by turning his enemies' powers and strengths against them [**]. The Necromongers might as well be Cylon Centurions or Spielbergian Nazis for all the difference they make to the plot.

Oh, and don't put too much stock in what mainstream film reviewers write about science fiction/ fantasy movies. I don't think I've ever seen one get a positive review from David Stratton or Evan Whitton (other than LotR of course). What the fans find interesting -- bizarre new ideas and exciting plots -- is a turn-off to mainstream reviewers who are more interested in the exploration of character (read: neurotic teenager lies on bed watching fan rotate for 25 minutes).

As Isaac Asimov once noted, SF can't afford to focus too much on character because that would detract from the changed world in the background: "Gulliver is an ordinary man and Alice is an ordinary girl. To have strange people in strange worlds would be one strangeness too many".

That's not to deny that written SF would benefit greatly from losing some of the pulpy cliches ("The twin suns rose early that morning. They shone hotly upon the towers of the planet of Cesarion Prime, which had just been conquered by the Zargvorod Imperion. Faulchok watched the suns rise with barely concealed anger in his three eyes. He hated the Zargvorods because they had killed his father three years before...") so beloved by its more successful practitioners. But as writers as diverse as CS Lewis and Philip Pullman have shown (now there's two names I never thought I'd use in the same list), it's entirely possible to competently depict the characters in the foreground while focusing primarily on the big vistas of the universe in the background.

[*] 1992: Freejack. The Lawnmower Man. Highlander II: The Quickening. And Alien 3. The prosecution rests.

[**] Unlike, say, the much-maligned Last Trek, Nemesis, where (warning: spoilers) it was Shinzon's earlier use of his telepathic powers to mind-peep on Deanna Troi that later allows Picard to locate and strike his cloaked starship.

CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK (OR "BATTLEFIELD EARTH 2")
I have not seen this movie but I am now very intrigued and keen to do so after watching David Stratton review it on ABC's "At The Movies".

DAVID: ... I sat there through, what, nearly two hours of this being utterly bemused by how incomprehensible it is. Partly because it's so dark.....You want to shine a torch on it to see what on earth is going on. But I think this is a worthy successor. Not so much to 'Pitch Black'.... more like 'Battlefield Earth'.

MARGARET: Oh, dear.

Puny man-animals! What are you thinking? We will destroy you! Mwoa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha harrr!

FIRST TOM CLANCY GHOST-WRITES GENERAL ANTHONY ZINNI'S BOOK SLAMMING BUSH... and now this. It's enough to put the US Republican Party off the name "Jack Ryan" for another generation.

Mr Ryan just withdrew as Republican Senate candidate for Illinois (against a Democrat opponent, Barack Obama, who's now the Tiger Woods of US politics, [*] notwithstanding that his name is easily mixed up not only with you-know-who but also with Amiri Baraka, the looney left State Poet of New Jersey). Mr Ryan crashed and burned after a scandal that erupted when a newspaper demanded and got access to sealed court records of his divorce from his ex-wife -- Jeri Ryan née Zimmerman, perhaps better known to our average reader as the actrice who played "Seven of Nine" in Star Trek: Voyager. In her divorce papers, Ms Zimmerman accused her ex-husband of pressuring her to boldly go where she had not gone before, and of believing (incorrectly, it turns out) that her resistance would prove futile. However, neither side wanted these he-said, she-said allegations made public, for obvious reasons (they have a young son). The divorce court agreed, but a later judge sided with the newspaper's claim that the public interest in knowing the moral fibre of one's future Senator outweighed the right to privacy.

Herewith the state of the right to privacy under US law: it guarantees your right to run an abortion clinic on main street, and to demand that Right to Lifers not show photographs of aborted foetuses anywhere nearby. But it does not mean that you and your ex-spouse can agree, by mutual consent, to keep your marital dirty laundry (so to speak) un-aired in public.

[*] Correction: Obama is not the Tiger Woods of US politics.

MICHAEL MOORE  PLAGIARIST
 
How could you sink so low, Michael? A stunt that is beneath even John Pilger! Ripping off another artiste's work - and an Aussie to boot! Why do you hate us?
 
QUOTE:
 
Moore took Aussie clips for hit filmJuly 27, 2004
AUSTRALIAN artist and filmmaker George Gittoes has objected to American Michael Moore's use of some of his work a controversial movie.Mr Gittoes said today Mr Moore had incorporated about 17 selections from his own documentary film Soundtrack to War into Fahrenheit 9/11.
They depicted American soldiers and their music in Iraq.



"Michael got access to my stuff and assumed that I would be happy for it to be in 9/11. I would actually have been quite happy for it not to be in 9/11."



"Mine's a better film. My film's balanced. I don't think there's a lot of balance in 9/11."



"When I finally discussed it face to face with Michael, I realised that no-one wants to be a spoiler. He's an artist and that's how he makes his work.
"He doesn't go out to Iraq like I do and dodge bullets. He makes it from mainly archival footage and the stuff that other people shoot."

UNQUOTE

REVENGE OF THE WHAT???

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith - It occurred to me that Sith is an anagram of a far more sinister word - and would aptly desribe George's two most recent films to date. Let's hope the third stands on its own merits rather than, like an errant President, those of its parents.  Not much effort to have fun with the advertised T-Shirt either

MICHAEL MOORE MUSINGS (1)
I have taken to numbering these posts as I wade through "Stupid White Men". Ultimately I may put them all together.

Two thoughts which have occurred to me:
1. Michael Moore has a blind faith in the American system, in which "every child could become President" etc. If this isn't the ruling classes distributing pulp ideologies to the masses, I don't know what is. To be the President of the USA you need to be at least a) rich and b) influential. Not many Americans fulfil these criteria, so Moore and the rest of his Yank think tank are dreaming.
2. He loves Orwell so much, he should add some new entries to the Newspeak lexicon: RepubliBAD, and DemoGOOD. He had similar blind, nieve optimism inthe Democrats as a poltical movement. Maybe not in specific personalities and practices, but as an ideology, it is very "Moore-ish".

Also, just found out recently on the ABC that Mrs Teresa "Heinz" Kerry is worth at least $US500 million, and that the potential First Gentleman and Mrs President have a house worth $10 million (see Slate.com).

How can Moore legimately look his audience in the eye about big business connections, wealth, conflicts of interst, fingers in pies etc when BOTH sides of US politics are in it up to their necks?

Puts a new spin on Samual Johnson's immortal words. Try: "I am willing to love all mankind - except an American politician"

For more seppo insults, try here (although there are way too many pop-ups for my liking!)

STUPID JIHAD AZKABAN
I am currently reading"Stupid White Men"by Michael Moore, at the same time as "Jihad" by Tom Carew and "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" by JK Rowling.

Don't be surprised if I wind up thinking some reactionary ex-British SAS leftie who studies magic in secret is on a one-man mission to broker a revolution between the world of the ordinary and the extrordinary.

Back to Moore - I have read his intro, his new intro and Chapter one, and what strikes me is ho whe really feels he is not only onto something big that the rest of us are too lame to switch on to, but also how he is up against it the "liitle big man", if I may. He really considers himself a prophet.

If anywhere near what he claims to be true is actually so, then why hasn't anything be done about it? Does anyone take this guy seriously or is he just a ranting, raving loonie? No surprises that the US gvernment is captive to corporate interests, but is George Bush Jr really a puppet president? Someone please give me the facts (and not the Micahel Moore facts, either).

I saw bowling for Columbine, which was interesting if not disjointed and incoherent (more like a pastiche of smaller pieces quickly nailed together without a strong unifying theme) and I'm keen to see that Fahrenheit movie (although I have heard it is quite "out there").

Why is Michael Moore such a phenomena? Does he represent an idea whose time has come, but with far too much smug self-righteousness and fact bending to be taken seriously? If so, he is allowing hubris to squander an opportunity most of us never see.

 

STRONGBAD GOOD
Laugh? Did I ever! Funny? You bet!

Compy 386!!

MORE ON RELIGIOUS AFFILIATIONS OF FICTIONAL CHARACTERS... No obviously Jewish characters in The Lord of the Rings, as far as I can tell, but otherwise they cover a wide theological spectrum:

ARAGORN is Plymouth Brethren, because he tells the Hobbits “My friends, you kneel to no-one”.

BOROMIR is Roman Catholic, because, when others are wary of the dangers of all creatures being in submission under the One who wears the Ring, he insists "It is a gift!"

DENETHOR is Pentecostal, because he pours oil upon Faramir and waits to catch the fire.

FRODO is Amish, because (a) he walks everywhere and (b) despite being begged, he adamantly refuses to give Bilbo a ring.

GALADRIEL is a megachurch Christian singer, because she says "All shall love me and despair".

GANDALF is Seventh-Day Adventist, because he talks about dragons and the end of the world. Or else's he's a Hyper-Calvinist, because he says "Many who live deserve death, and many who die deserve life".

GOLLUM is a High Church Anglican or an Old Catholic, because (a) he deeply desires to wear a gold ring, and (b) he refers to himself as "we" and "us" even though he has no followers.

MERRY is Baptist, because he says “I don’t think I’ll smoke ever again”.

PIPPIN is a Californian New Ager, because he exclaims in dreamy wonderment "The Eagles! The Eagles are here!"

SAMWISE is Hindu, because he addresses Frodo as “Mr Frodo”.

SARUMAN is an Episcopalian bishop, because he says "The world is changing".

TREEBEARD AND THE ENTS are Eastern Orthodox, because they deliberate for a very long time before reaching agreement that Hobbits are not Orcs.

UGLUK is Lutheran, because he says "Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!"

ADDENDUM: And of course KING THÉODEN is a Puritan, because in the middle of a life-or-death battle he still wants his supporters to "Reform the line!"

To those who submitted variations on the suggestion that ÉOWYN would be a clergyman of [insert name of] denomination because she says "I am no man"... Charity, please, people. Charity.

PAGAN IDOLATRY

Has anyone actually seen the start up of the Olympic flame? Is this pagan idolatry or what? Check out the piccies here. By the way, some of those vestal "virgins" are looking pretty old, if you know what I mean.


Old chick

And what about that Olympic Oath? What's all that stuff there about the "glory of sport"? Please, aren't we over than humanistic-we-are the-champions guff yet? Hasn't a century full of wars taught us anything?

And the torch relay? If not invented then certainly perfected by the Nazis for the 1936 Olympics, no less. Jeese Owens, eat your heart out.
 

POLL RESULTS
The results are in. "Latest Poll" has gone on for abut 3 months now!


What college fraternity were those crazy Iraqi pranksters trying to gain admission to when they were caught on camera?

Votes
Phi Beta Qua'eda  27%
Semper Fi 9%
Taliban Sorority Sisters 18%
The Skulls 9%
Leo's Legends, UQ  27%
The Inklings 0%
Animal House 9%

Readers are encouraged to draw their own conclusions about the validity of this poll.

SPACE SHUTTLE NAMES
 
I was musing the other day (as one does) on the names of the Space Shuttles  and realised that there is a hidden alphabetical sequence to their names! Conside the following;

A = Atlantis
B = ???
C = Challenger, Columbia
D = Discovery
E = Endeavour, Enterprise (Originally designated "Constitution")

and on the Space Shuttle Word Search (!) I found a "Pathfinder" (actually only a mock-up of the real thing). Obvious name really when you think about it.

But what about the others? Why the obsession with "C" names (Challenger, Columbia, Constitution)? Why don't any Space Shuttles begin with the letter B?

Time to start a campaign. Name the new space shuttle or orbiting vehicle or whatever is coming out next, and have it start with the letter "B".

My nomination: Space Shuttle Bush.

Yours?

UPDATE: The Russian Space Shuttle was apparently named "Buran" which means "Snowstorm". Mystery Solved.

AT LAST, WE WILL REVEAL OURSELVES... Don't click on this link unless you want to know the title (and, I'd guess, the plot) of the third (that is, the sixth) Star Wars film, due out next May. Here was me betting Lucas would pick either The Fellowship of the Jedi, or Always Two Towers, There Are -- No More, No Less [as I noted to Chris in the Comments below, no epic movie trilogy is complete these days without knights, princesses, Dark Lords, a Part Three with "Return of the..." in the title, and a Scandinavian actor reciting the line "Vot doz zhor HEART tell you?"], but it sounds as if George III refused to take the bait. ("Emulate Peter Jackson? In our moment of triumph? I think you underestimate their long-term marketing shelf life! Twenty-seven  years have I movie tie-in action figures and toy swords to youngsters been marketing, hmmm, yes!...").

At least, this time the title should remain stable between announcement and release -- not least because Wrath of the Sith would be too much of a tongue-twister for anyone who's not an English, Greek or Spanish speaker.

Hat tip for that scoop to The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles, via James Lileks (again! Is there any field of pop culture that man's not across?).

Which reminds me... If there are any German-speakers out there who've seen Sternkrieg: Der Galaktischereich Gegenangriffieret (etc) in Deutsche, I have two long-pondered queries: (1) Do they render Yoda's speech in English word-order to make it sound strange to German ears? (2) They don't translate "Stormtroopers" as Sturmabeilitung, do they?

WELL, SHE DID ABIDE BY THE ONE-CHILD POLICY... James White's weblog has a link to an astonishing news report about how "pro-choice" Catholics in Latin America are praying to Mary (as in, Mary the Mother of Jesus Christ), to intercede for them (with which deity, being left unspecified) to make legal abortion available throughout Latin America.

IRAQ SERMON

wellthese seemed to be the strongest search terms last time I checked the hit counter stats - and the commonest visitors were from North America ".com domains", so I thought i would post something of interest here.

It's a power point i did once on wjether the Iraq war was a "just war" as per Thomas Aquinas - no talk of WMD per se, or blod for oil, or any of that.

Hopefully you can find it here.

If not, let me know in the "Comments" and I'll put it somewhere else.

Democracy isn't working

It is the west's calling card, but its global applicability is now in doubt

WHICH PRESIDENT LIED THE MOST?

Not "which President lied" but "which one lied the most" proving the rule that there are liars, damn liars, and polticians.

As scored by a panel of noted journalists and pundits:

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2003/0309.mendacity-index.html

One guess who wins out of Ronnie Reagan, George Bush Snr, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush (Hint: He doesn't like jelly beans, or liberate Kuwait, or enjoy the company of Whitehouse interns).

MORE MOORE

Gotta love this guy and the controversy he generates. He is a one-man media beacon, that's for sure, in other words, a "heat seeker" (and I don't mean missile)

From The Sydney Morning Herald:

"Conspiracy theorists are, of course, fringe dwellers, but they serve a purpose, pushing the boundaries of cynicism, feeding into the anti-West infotainment industry personified by the obese American filmmaker Michael Moore."

From Slate

"To describe this film as dishonest and demagogic would almost be to promote those terms to the level of respectability. To describe this film as a piece of crap would be to run the risk of a discourse that would never again rise above the excremental. To describe it as an exercise in facile crowd-pleasing would be too obvious. Fahrenheit 9/11 is a sinister exercise in moral frivolity, crudely disguised as an exercise in seriousness. It is also a spectacle of abject political cowardice masking itself as a demonstration of "dissenting" bravery."

And from The Onion

"Michael Moore Kicking Self For Not Filming Last 600 Trips To McDonald's"

BLOG101

From www.faqs.org

fisking: n.
[blogosphere; very common] A point-by-point refutation of a blog entry or (especially) news story. A really stylish fisking is witty, logical, sarcastic and ruthlessly factual; flaming or handwaving is considered poor form. Named after Robert Fisk, a British journalist who was a frequent (and deserving) early target of such treatment. See also MiSTing, anti-idiotarianism

And I thought it was called "rebuttal".

MICHAEL MOORE'S FAULTY LOGIC

In decrying the "R" rating of his new film Fahrenheit 9/11 (which will mean that 17 year olds and under won't be able to see it unless accompanied by an adult, Moore says:

"It is sadly very possible that many 15- and 16-year-olds will be asked and recruited to serve in Iraq in the next couple of years," Moore said in a weekend statement. "If they are old enough to be recruited and capable of being in combat and risking their lives, they certainly deserve the right to see what is going on in Iraq."

This is a classic non-sequiter, neatly linking 15 and 16 year olds with combat in Iraq, thus justifying their viewing of Moore's film. But hang on a minute! 15 and 16 year old aren't recruited for combat, at least in the Western liberal democracies of which Moore is so fond. You have to be at least 18, which is by neat coincidence the age you need to be to see an "R" film.

And is Moore less than sanguine about the Iraq issue? You bet! To be fighting in Iraq, a 15-year old Moore-savvy intellectual provocateur in 2004 will need to be an 18-year old mean, lean fighting machine in 2007. Moore obviously does not think his mission to save Iraq from the US will be successful. Three more years! Gives him the opportunity to milk the controversy with three more Moore films.

DRUGS AND SCHOOLS
Now for an issue close to my heart - drugs (and schools!).

Kenmore State High School is having a bad press run this week thanks to some lovely footage screening on Channel 7.

This footage is an obvious example of what is called in the business a "vexatious complaint"

According to statements from Education Queensland (conveniently ignored in the main "scoop"last night, but given voice at the death of the story by Rod Young), the student who submitted the video to seven MADE IT ALL UP.

It's his revenge you see, as his mates were the ones suspended from the school last month for being naughty children with drugs in the playground. THEY WERE CAUGHT. Who's turning a blind eye now?

No prizes for guessing he's a FILM AND TV STUDENT, as the "mystery student" interviewed by 7 commented on the first class facilities offered by his school in, you guessed it, Film and Television.

Those pesky newshounds at Seven are still rustling up business for their fraudulent story.

How about they fall on their sword like the good editor of the Mirror did in UK, after being caught out publishing fake Iraq photos?

On March 22, 200 Year 12's from Kenmore State High School went off on their annual "convention" to the Sunshine Coast and talked about, among other things, "a whole range of issues including leadership, health issues, drugs and alcohol, and lifestyle choices."

Apparently this isn't good enough for some students. They either didn't attend, or didn't listen to what they were told. Drugs will mess you up. And lying about it will too.

Meanwhile the Queensland Drug and Alcohol Foundation suggests students caught using drugs should not be expelled.

Good idea. First, give schools some more money to run these anti-drug crusades as well as educating the masses on everything from to art to zoology. Then, give all teachers the power to search any student bag at any time so they can more easily find those who need help. Finally, for those who make up lies using the very skills their school has taught them in a pathetic attempt at taking revenge, I have only one word - expulsion.

ALTERNATIVE HISTORY

What would our impression of D-Day have been like if reported by the BBC of 2004 instead of 1944?

Visit Silent Running's wickedly satirical BeebVision to find out.

QUOTE
Eisenhower and Churchill have called this the turning point of the war. Yet the very name of this mass landing, "Overlord", suggests some deeper hidden agenda than merely forcing the Germans to retreat.... Indeed they have made their interest in German military and scientific advances well known.

It is obvious that the German war economy is in tatters, and that Germany is short of both manpower and resources and cannot keep fighting for much longer. So why invade, when a telegraph to Berlin may have been equally effective? Sources close to Hitler have let it be known that an option exists for an honourable end to the conflict, so long as a few guarantees have been met.

POWERFUL CHILDREN

See the news.com.au for a mis-guided view of the role of children in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter and Northern Lights.

Thatnk to Atilla the Pun for this link.

MERLIN SAID IT FIRST

Wondering what Merlin Luck(-less) really meant on Big Brother last Sunday night?

Well, check out this picture here!

GOOGLEFIGHT
Check this out! Type in two words and googlefight will search the web with Google to see which has the most hits, and declare a winner. I tried "Mark Latham" vs "John Howard".

See what I got here

WE LIVE IN A DIFFERNT WORLD

"We live in a different world. Censoring it is pointless and, in the long term, damaging." Bryn Grieg, WA Senator, Australian Democrats.

Yes, thank you Senator for your comments. I have been musing on your words for a while now, when I came across this article from the New Zealand Herald. Apparently, the recently appointed leader of the Anglican Church in New Zealand, Bishop Whakahuihui Vercoe, believes homosexuality is "unnatural and immoral and looks forward to a day when a better society, in his view, will find it unacceptable."

The surprise comes in the response. The newspaper, for givingthese comments prominence, has been received the following typical comments:

- As a gay man, I am deeply offended by your headline

- How dare you publish that rubbish on your front page, unless of course you ... are as bigoted, homophobic and out for cheap controversy as your Maori interviewee.

etc etc etc

Well, what about censorship, get your laws off our bodies, blah blah blah. Maybe you're only allowed to say one thing about gays - that you think they are incredibly marvellous and wonderful, witty and urbane, and be all accepting and tolerating and stuff, otherwise SHUT UP!!!

What happened to free speech? freedom of expression? freedom of the press? Remember, "Censoring it is pointless and, in the long term, damaging"

This is not a far-right neo-nazi e-zine we're speaking of, it's NZ's major newspaper.

Read the editor's own defense at http://www.nzherald.co.nz/storydisplay.cfm?storyID=3571337&thesection=news&thesubsection=dialogue

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS STAR WARS WITH RESERVOIR DOG?

Why, Imperial Dogs, of course!

A must listen - "Stuck in a room with R2"

The 213 Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

An oldie but a goodie - my personal favourites:

22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

170. Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.

Enjoy the rest here

STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH

Here is the ABC's "official" response to my concern. Mostly form letter stuff really.


Dear Mr

Thank you for your email about the episode of Play School broadcast on 31 May
2004. The ABC regrets that you were concerned by reports about this program.

In this episode, Play School's regular 'Through the Windows' segment, featured a
trip to an amusement park by two young girls. The girl who narrated the film
made the comment, "My mums are taking me and my friend Meryn to an amusement
park". The segment showed one of the many types of family groups that exist in
Australia today. It included a single verbal reference to the family group,
with the use of the word "mums", and images of the group attending the amusement
park. There was no emphasis or focus placed on any social issue. Any such
constructions are adult constructions.

Play School aims to reflect the diversity of Australian children, embracing all
races, religions and family situations. The 'Through the Window' segments
provide an opportunity to show children the wider world. Previous segments have
included families from a range of social, ethnic, religious and racial
backgrounds. In most cases, the focus is on aspects of family life with any
social, religious, cultural or racial aspects forming the background only. For
example, previous segments have shown a child's christening, celebrating the
Jewish holiday Chanukah (Hanukkah), a Muslim family on a train journey, a child
as bridesmaid at her grandmother's wedding and other experiences.

Each year, the ABC Children's Television department draws on extensive early
childhood advice to present enjoyable and enriching programs for children. We
regret that this episode of Play School has caused you some concern. Please be
assured that your comments have been forwarded to the ABC's Children's
production department so that they may be made aware of your reaction to the
segment.

Thank you for bringing your concerns to the ABC's attention.

Yours sincerely,


Anna Uszko
ABC Audience and Consumer Affairs

FROM THE PEN OF TONY ABBOTT ('S ADVISER)

Just in today:

Dear Mr

Thank you very much for your email of 3 June 2004.

Mr Abbott has read your email and has asked me to thank you for your comments - they are greatly appreciated.

Yours sincerely
Paris Kostakos
Adviser

MORE ON THAT LESBIAN THING

Well, I received an e-mail from Siobhan and unfortunately she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, as I have been resisting formulating any response to my detractors. Howeverm, I cobbled one together and present it as posted to her. Siobhan, if you are burnt as the rocket passes through, then SORRY!



In the interest of balance I have updated my blog and got comments from the mum's involved, the head of children's programming at ABC, and an unfavourable response to me published in the C-M.

What most people are missing is I'm not directly taking a swipe at lesbianism or motherhood, but at the ABC!

As a loving and accepting parent, I reserve the right to monitor what my kids do and don't watch on TV, and what influences they are exposed to. Hence no CSI, Simpsons or Big Brother. These TV shows simply do not promote the kind of values I am interested in seeing my children develop.

In my opinion the ABC crossed the line with its portrayal of lesbian motherhood as what I define as "acceptable lifestyle" for my children to be viewing in the context of Playschool.

As the Senator readily admits, TV has a powerful influence as normalising force. He "came out" as gay, partly supported by what he described as positive images on the tube. However, I do not want my children to grow up to become lesbians, or Hare Krishnas, or One Nation Party voters. So, while recognising that these are valid life-choices for people of sincere faith, my duty as a parent is to see my own children grow up in an environment which promotes the values that I believe in. No reasonable, responsible parent, straight or gay, would behave otherwise. This means Play School is now suspect.

I readily admit that bias is that which you don't agree with, and acknowledge Play School has shown Christening, Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs etc with no complaints from me. But in the name of "diversity", will we see Mr Habib with his four wives dressed in Burkhas, as simply "another expression of what it means to be Australian" appear on children's television next? Where do we draw the line, or not at all, as the Senator suggests that all forms of censorship is wrong?

The ABC is answerable to the public for its programming choices, and its test of integrity is whether or not it uses children's TV as a lever for its own value system, especially when this does not square with the majority of Australians (witness the volumes of mail going into the ABC on this issue).

Children's TV is NOT the place for thrashing out these issues. Debate on the nature and values of our society is much better carried out in other ways.

Let's not get emotive about this. People can be lesbians if they want to - it's not up to me to decide for them, and as far as they're concerned about me I could probably go and get a life. However, if you are going to interpret your whole identity through your sexuality like our friend the Senator then maybe my ideas may seem inflammatory.

I apologise for that. Nevertheless, I return to my main idea that lesbianism / homosexuality it is something that is just not for me, nor do I prefer it for my family, and neither do I want to see it on my children's ABC.

And if you want some really right wing views go and visit
http://timblair.spleenville.com

WHAT HAS, ER, TIM BLAIR GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT?

Read about it here

WARNING:
Contains Explicit Right Wing Views
Reader Discretion Advised

KEEP POLITICS OUT OF CHILDREN'S TV

Well, the story just keeps on coming. Let's hope it dies out soon!

I have been sledged again, this time by a fellow letter writer to The Courier-Mail.

STEPHEN (Letters, June 5) is worried about what sort of message his kids might get from seeing the occassional lesbian or two on TV, but he should be more worried about what sort of message they get from his reaction. Their chances of keeping sexuality in any sort of healthy perspective would surely be diminished by the sight of Daddy freaking out about two women who aren't even shown touching each other. The best message we can send to our kids is that sex is one important aspect among many of a rich and healthy life. Let's not get quite so worked up about it.
- Neil McCrossin, Deagon
June 6

Well, I've been told off by a Senator Bryna Greig (Democrats, WA) and now by Neil McCrossin of Deagon, so I better keep my big mouth shut and my opinions to myself. If only I'd said how great everything was with the world then everyone who love me - although I'd probably be accused of being "unrealistic". You can't win!

THE ABC'S TAKE ON THE ISSUE

See here for their reasoning, especially the following paragraphs:

Play School aims to reflect the diversity of Australian children, embracing all manner of race, religions and family situations.

Segments have included families from a range of social, ethnic, religious and racial backgrounds. In most cases the focus is on aspects of family life with social, religious, cultural or racial aspects forming the background only.

However, there have also been segments on a child's christening, celebrating the Jewish holiday Chunakah (Hannukah), a Muslim family, a child as bridesmaid at her grandmother's wedding and similar circumstances.

HEAD OF ABC CHILDREN'S PROGRAMMING

A brief bio here:

Head of Children's - Claire Henderson (NSW)

Claire Henderson has nearly 30 years experience in the broadcasting industry, a large proportion of that time has been spent in children's programming.

Claire was originating Executive Producer of Bananas in Pyjamas and many other children's programs on ABC Television. Claire brings to her position the expertise that has made ABC Children's programming a world class service.

IN THE INTEREST OF BALANCE

...on the Playschool issue I present you with the defence of one of the participants inthe drama (culled from The Courier-Mail feedback forum)

From: Vicki Harding, Sydney


Comment: Press Release: Playschool who are the bullies? 4 June 2004

Brenna is famous but she doesnt understand what the fuss is all about.

On Monday, Playschool screened a rerun of Through the Window featuring my family my partner Jackie, our daughter Brenna and me. It was first screened in March, without a peep from the mainstream press. Larry Anthony didnt see it, Tony Abbott missed it and John Howard was probably holidaying overseas, because he didnt notice it either.

But many lesbian and gay parents and their children, and friends, saw it and loved it.

Our children thrive when they see images on TV or in books that reflect their lives. I have no doubt that all politicians, no matter which side of the fence, desire this sense of validation and acknowledgement for their kids.

So why do they want to deprive my daughter of this essential confirmation of identity and position within the world something most of her friends receive all the time?

My daughter and I wrote two books for children learning to read because we wanted families like ours to be reflected in the classroom and in school libraries. My House and Going to Fair Day feature a family with two mums, a child, a cat and two dogs. Its an everyday family, the illustrations are colourful and funny, and we dont use words like lesbian or sex or even girlfriend!

Like the Playschool segment which has attracted all the fuss, we refer only to two mums so that children of lesbian parents might feel included, once in a while. We tell stories about dogs and cats chasing each other and Brenna wishing that they could just be friends so they could all play together. We describe how Jack, a dog without a home, finds a loving and caring family to live with when he wins the dog show at a Mardi Gras Fair Day.

The Playschool segment filmed Brenna and her friend enjoying Wonderland with her mums. Most of the feedback suggests that other mums and dads identify with us, even if they happen to be heterosexual. Because, bottom line, the segment is about kids having fun and being loved.

What exactly is offensive to our Federal Government? Which bit exactly caused alarm, shock, horror? There are no images of torture, or war, or violence, or poverty. Theres no sex.

I challenge the politicians, especially those awaiting an election later this year, to point out the offensive bits, because Im totally in the dark!

Vicki Harding

MY REPLY TO THE ESTEEMED SENATOR

Here is my response below:

Dear Senator

Thank you for your prompt reply to my letter. You are indeed to be applauded for taking the time to personally respond to my comments.

Although I do not agree that I am motivated by fear or prejudice, or that my own attitudes are less than enlightened, I will carefully consider the other matters that you have raised when formulating my opinions.

Once again, thank you for taking an interest in my concerns.

Your sincerely

A REPLY FROM A SENATOR!

Here is a reply I got from my letter to Senator Bryan Greig. Very exciting stuff!



I hardly think the accurate reflection of Australian society on TV can be called "dogma." If you have a religious objection to the segment on lesbian mums, then you really should say so.

Far from being "indoctrinated" and endangering "impressionable young minds", the honest and accurate reflection of diverse families on *our* ABC is to be welcomed.

The book that was read on the show was produced, in part, by funding from the NSW State Government Attorney General's Department, as part of it's anti-violence programming. The book is distributed in schools as a way to help educate students and minimise homophobic violence. I can only applaud that.

There are thousands of kids around Australia being raised by same-sex parents, and it's common for kindergartens, particularly in inner city areas, to have lesbian and gay parents among their clients.

The ABC has a mandate and duty to reflect Australian culture and the diversity of everyday life. In spite of you own "shock", children are not fazed by these things. Indeed, prejudice is a leaned behaviour.

I think it's great that children in same-sex households are now finding themselves reflected in their own media. It will help break down the isolation and prejudice they no doubt feel and experience from dominant culture.

It was not that long ago when blacks, Asians and disabled people were discreetly censored from Australian TV, as white bread, picket fences and English speaking culture ruled over everything.

We live in a different world. Censoring it is pointless and, in the long term, damaging.

Perhaps if you met some kids being raised in same-sex households, and talked to then, your fears would be alleviated?

As with most parents, you also assume that your own children are, or will be, heterosexual. Many parents learn in their kid's teenage years that this is not the case. I hope for them, that if they should discover as they awaken to adulthood that they are not heterosexual, then your own attitudes might be more enlightened and accepting than they seem to be now.

It was my own experience, that seeing positive images on TV about gay and lesbian people, helped greatly with my own coming out as a teenager. If this type of community education is going to start at younger ages - all the better.

Kind regards,
Brian Greig
CANBERRA

UPDATE

In addition to the ABC, I have sent copies of my letter to:

The Australian
The Courier-Mail
Senator Greig (who came out in support of the episode)
Tony Abbott (who also made a comment)
Daryl Williams (Communications Minister)

PLAYSCHOOL LESBIAN MUMS

Yes, you read it right. Read the full story here.

This is my letter to the ABC below:


I am appalled that the ABC should use this program as a platform for launching politically correct indoctrination on the most vulnerable members of our community.

The so-called "children's story" depicting a lesbian relationship demonstrates how out of ouch the ABC is with their audiences. The imposition of such dogma on the minds of impressionable young children is tantamount to propaganda of the most insidious kind.

By naturalising lesbian parenthood during children’s formative years, our little ones are exposed to issues inappropriate for their age and experience. The ABC ably demonstrates its contempt for its audience in the name of "diversity" while leaving shocked and dismayed parents to pick up the pieces.

Play School used to be regarded as a reliable trusted friend, a symbol of the innocence of childhood. However, the values of such shows are now open to question. Will we next see B1 and B2 forming a homosexual civil union or marriage? I sincerely hope not.

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE RABBI, THE SLUT AND THE PEDOPHILE?

From News.com.au

Rabbi blasts Madonna

Madonna has been accused by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach of being:

a) a slut
b) a vulgarian
c) a porn rocker
d) all of the above

and suggested she:

a) may sing and may dance
b) brought the Kabbalah Centre great notoriety
c) is simulating lesbian sex with scantily clad pregnant dancers
d) all of the above

In her defence, Madonna's rep has reacted by defending Madonna as:

a) having character
b) an artist
c) a truly beautiful human being
d) all of the above

And the pedophile? Oh yes, Rabbi Shmuley is a a former friend and advisor to Michael Jackson

ANOTHER STEPHEN LOOKALIKE. Is this blogwar (or blogcivilwar) getting self-indulgent or what.

MISSION: RECONCILIATION

http://www.ucaqld.com.au/synod2004/2004synodreportspart3.pdf

Allow me to begin with a quote from the most recent document published by the Uniting Church in Queensland, which came out of Synod 2004. The context could be any contemporary writing or philosophising about the nature of the church; in this case it refers to theological education. Nevertheless, the spirit of the argument rings true in many ears as many Australian Christians have developed a “cultural cringe” about their faith. While such sentiments may seem right and reasonable on first inspection, closer examination exposes the inherent weaknesses in such propositions.

“Let me take this one small step further. The church is by no means the only way in which God accomplishes God’s mission. Once we understand the nature of God and the signs of the Reign of God, it takes little more than keeping our eyes and ears open to realise that God often works outside the church. Jesus is reported as having said, “He who is not against us is for us” (Mark 9:40; but cf. Matt 12.30). The church has no monopoly on God’s mission. The church certainly does not possess God’s mission as a right. The church may well fail to serve the reign of God and become self-focussed, lose its nerve, distort the message entrusted to it and bring shame to the One we claim to serve. A healthy humility is therefore far more realistic and honest than an unseemly triumphalism.”

This quote begs the question: What is God mission? It is the work of reconciliation. Although this word has become hackneyed through overuse in social justice circles to imply the relationship between two aggrieved parties, in its original Biblical context it is much more one–sided than this: it is God who is aggrieved and we who are at fault. The Church, as God’s agent in the world, is intimately involved in both the message and the act of reconciliation. To quote the Apostle Paul:

18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. to reconcile the world to him through Christ”

God’s mission is thus the message and act of reconciliation. The means through which God accomplishes this is his Christ. And the messenger of Christ is the church. Paul here speaks personally, but he also speaks for all Christians everywhere. As agents of the Gospel, the people of God who make up God’s true church are appointed to spread the message of reconciliation with God through Christ.

The reconciling mission of God is accomplished outside the Church through the work of the Spirit, who leads us to Christ. It is comforting to know that God does work outside the Church, in order to bring people in to a relationship with Christ and engagement with his people, as an expression of his mercy. To assert that God works outside the Church is to require another mission. The reconciling mission of God through Christ has been entrusted to the Church, not to any third party. We must take seriously the fact that the buck stops here.

Additionally, the question of right is not ours to take, because a right implies that which is ours by merit. Rather, it is God’s purposes we as the church are to accomplish, not our own, so that neither the mission nor the mandate are our own, and that there may be no boasting. If we assert it as a right, we are in the wrong

Of course the church, as populated by flawed human beings with a willingness to submit themselves to the will of God, will fail to achieve this mission in many instances. However, a focus on failure does not generate humility or honesty; quite the reverse – it generates misery and a culture of blame. True humility lies in the acknowledgement that God in his awesome majesty has entrusted the message of the reconciling mission of Christ to his unworthy believers on Earth. Anything less is not only selling ourselves short as possessors of God’s truth, but denying God’s choice of agency in the church.

Indeed, it goes as far as denying Christ, as such arguments imply that the Christians have somehow lost touch with who God really is, and he needs to be sought elsewhere. While seeming humble, such attitudes negligently disregard the scriptural witness regarding Christ as God’s appointed exclusive Saviour. They consequently deny the appointment of the church as Christ’s ambassadors in proclaiming God’s mission of reconciling the world to himself.

SALA[A]M PAX OUTED... The legendary Iraqi blogger is currently visiting Australia, a guest at the Sydney Writer’s Festival.

Between near-death experiences and promotional engagements, Salam Pax spends what little time spare time he has asleep. It’s the waking hours that Pax, a 30-year-old Iraqi whose internet diary from Baghdad has earned him a global following and a movie deal, finds “surreal”. [...] Today, his dilemmas can be less confronting – such as choosing the right actor to play the lead in Salam Pax, the movie. “George Clooney… of course”.

-- Freya Petersen, "Blogger of Baghdad signs a movie deal", Sydney Morning Herald (Thursday 20 May 2004)

(Freya Petersen? Isn't she the actress in White Collar Blue -- you know, the pouty one the studio execs cloned from Kristen Scott Thomas' DNA?)

(UPDATE: No, she isn't. That's Freya Stafford. Bad call.)

Anyway, have a look at the photo posted of S. Pax. Dammit, I think I look more like him than Clooney does.

BUT WAIT...THERE'S MORE

Tom, if you would check the archives, the resemblance to Herr Murray is clearly posted. But I forgot the most personal resemblance, both in terms of ideology and physiognomy, Senator Andrew Bartlett

(although I do note a touch of Grecian 2000 on this image which may go a little astray on Tom!!!)

CONGRATULATIONS TO FATHER McKENZIE BLOGROLLEE...

...ANDREW DEMACK for his recent election as Premier of Tasmania. Adopting the pseudonym "Paul Lennon" won't fool anyone who realises that it's simply a composite from the names of two of the most ideologically influential figures within the Uniting Church of Australia. Why not go all the way and have the Deputy Premier adopt the nom de plume "Vladimir Illyich Wesley" or "Augustine McCartney"? That'd really warm hearts among the average pew-warmer in the Arian [sic] Nation.

But he'll have to lose the moustache before long, in accordance with Labor Party Constitution Clause 527(1)(a)[iii] ("Facial Hair Of Red-Dog ALP Premiers, Removal Of".)

WAR OF THE LOOKALIKES... My esteemed co-blogger has left out the three celebs I most often get told I look like: Robin Williams, Bill Murray and Al Bundy from Married With Children.

As for Steve, think of a cross between Nicholas Cage and "Millhouse" from The Simpsons and you're over halfway there.

METROSEXUALITY A SIN

From The Onion

Catholic Church Condemns Metrosexuality
VATICAN CITY—Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said Monday that metrosexuality, the trend of heterosexual men co-opting the aesthetics of homosexual men, is strictly prohibited under Catholic doctrine. "The truly faithful will avoid the temptation to adopt this hip urban lifestyle," Navarro-Valls said. "The devout Catholic must remain on the path toward salvation, no matter how good he'd look in an Armani pullover, and no matter how much he might covet his neighbor's set of Williams-Sonoma lobster forks." Karl Weis, director of the New York-based activist group Freedom From Religion, responded to the ban by stating that "metrosexuality is so 2003."

THE GEEK TEST
Test your geekiness

I rate a comfortable 40.43393% - Major Geek

Test yourself and report back "at once".

Make it so at http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html

(Thanks to Wheelie Bin Syndrome for this link)

INTERVIEW THE FUHRER!

Yes, Hitler did not commit suicide in the Fuhrerbunker in the closing days of World War 2, but instead lives online!

Ask any question of the Fuhrer and he will reply.

Visit http://www.activehistory.co.uk/head2head/hitler/frameset.htm

He's still a quirky fellow, though. No plans to clone him yet either, except through software.

PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE ... TOM

Yes, Tom, i would have to agree there - Salaam Pax does bear more than a passing resemblance to your grimacing visage. Gentle readers, ecce homo!

I would also refer you the reader to pictures of
Bill Murray,
Phil Collins and Kemal Ataturk.

(And don't listen to Tom about me, either. Last resemblance he held me to was Jack Straw!)

IF OTHER AUTHORS HAD WRITTEN THE LORD OF THE RINGS ... This has gotten me inspired enough so I added one of my own. Here are some excerpts. See if you can guess which one of these it is -- without looking up the original page.

Ian Fleming:

Aragorn placed his hand on the cool, ivory hilt of his 6.38 Andúril sword, half-holding it in as casual manner as possible. His eyes swept the room of the Prancing Pony, eyeing up the potential threats. He took out his pipe, made from the warmed heartwood of a mature oak. In the palm of his left hand, he unwrapped his leather tobacco pouch filled, as he preferred, with Gondorian Silk Cut. Aragorn preferred it to the harsher, stronger Númenorean blend...

PG Wodehouse:

"Sam, I've decided to go and overthrow the Dark Lord by tossing his jewelry into a volcano".

"Very good, sir. Should I lay out your crazy adventure garb? I presume that this will pose a delay to tea-time. I would remind your Hobbitship that your Great Aunt Lobelia Sackville-Baggins is expected for tea".

"Blast! I say, bother! How can a chap overthrow the Dark Lord? I suppose I will have to delay my campaign".

"Very good, sir. I believe you will be free in about a decade".

"I'll do it then. Make a note, Sam"...

Oscar Wilde:

"He bested me in a riddle contest".

"A riddle contest?"

"It was so. And he cheated".

"To cheat in a riddle contest is a riddle in itself, and is therefore not cheating, but just another riddle"...

CS Lewis:

... By this time, Bilbo was in a frightful state, for by now he was quite upset with himself that he had given over the Ring to Frodo, and with Gandalf as well for "making me do it". I expect that a good many of you may often have felt like this, after you've done something you were told was the proper thing to do. You don't like it half so much the next day, and by end of term you're absolutely certain you've been cheated out of something dear to you. As a result of all of this, by the time Bilbo saw the Ring on Frodo's chest, he felt dreadfully jealous all of a sudden.

"I say, Baggins, I do think you're being perfectly beastly about this whole letting me hold the Ring again thing", said Bilbo crossly.

"Oh, do shut up, Baggins", retorted Frodo. "Don't you understand? The Ring is my burden. Not anyone else's. That's what He told us. You-Know-Who. The Wizard"...

Gene Roddenberry:

"The Halflings, cap'n, they will na take the strain"

"Strider, we've got to get out of this snow. Legolas, did you get a reading on that creature?"

"Fascinating, Captain. It appears to be an unknown creature that lurks in the pool waiting for passing strangers. Ecologically implausible, captain".

"Do you know what it is?"

"I believe I said it was unknown, Dr Gimli. Logically, if I knew what it was, then it wouldn't be unknown".

"Cap'n, we're in some sort of temporal warp, stretching and deforming the plot. The snow should take place a day before our encounter with this beastie".

"Captain, what are we going to do?"

"Boromir, put on that red armour"....

Ernest Hemingway:

Frodo Baggins looked at the ring. The ring was round. It was a good ring. The hole at the heart of the ring was also round. The hole was clean and pure. The hole at the heart of the ring had an emptiness in it that made Frodo Baggins remember the big skies of the Shire when his father had taken him out and taught him to tear the heads off the small, furred things that walked there, even though he hated blood in those days and the stink of the blood was always part of the emptiness for him then and ever after. Frodo Baggins could put the ring on his finger now. The stink of the blood and the hole and the emptiness could never leave him now. Frodo Baggins looked at the ash-heap slopes of Mordor and remembered the Cuban Orc who had kept the ash on his cigar all the way to the end. The Orc just drew on the cigar and smoked the cigar calmly and kept the ash in a long grey finger, a hard finger, right to the moment that the Rangers beat hit to death with clubs. He was mucho Orco, the Cuban...

There's more. Go on, go check out the page. Thanks to one of Mark Shea's lurkers for that tip.

AT LEAST HE DIDN'T ACCUSE THEM OF DRINKING BLOOD AND SERVING SATAN... You know the Eighties are truly over when...

(#1) KISS bass player Gene Simmons has caused an uproar among Australia's Muslim community by launching an attack on Islamic culture while in Melbourne. The lizard-tongued rock god who is touring Australia with the world's most enduring glam rock band launched an attack on Muslim extremists during an interview on Melbourne's 3AW radio. "Extremism believes that it's okay to strap bombs on to your children and send them to paradise and whatever else and to behead people," he said yesterday. The Israeli-born US musician went on to say Islam was a "vile culture" that treated women worse than dogs. Muslim women had to walk behind their men and were not allowed to be educated or own houses, he said...

-- “KISS bassist offends Muslims”, by Alex Wilson, Weekend Australian (15-16 May 2004), p 18.

Yes. Treating women badly. Something that would not have been tolerated for a second in the late-Seventies rock & roll world. And to continue the trend...

(#2) 'Who Made This Statement?

"This culture is in big trouble. All you see on television are debased images. You saw the Super Bowl. I don't even need to say anything more about it".

Take your guesses. Jerry Falwell? George Bush, Sr.? Nancy Reagan? Nah. Think purple.'

To find out the answer, you'll need to go to Clayton Cramer's weblog.

DON'T TASMANIAN SCHOOLKIDS STUDY HAMLET AS A SET TEXT? Well, there is now at least one country in the world whose monarch will be an Australian. Admittedly she couldn't become Queen of Denmark while remaining an Australian citizen, but here down under we can understand that. After all, you can't be Queen of Australia either if you're an Australian citizen. The strangest thing about this situation is that the side who think that's a good arrangement are also the most vehement in claiming that our laws should be based on the Bible. (The second-strangest thing about it is that I heard this argument repeated, during the 1999 Republic referendum campaign, by Margaret Court -- yes, the tennis player, now a Pentecostal pastor. Yea, not the least jot or tittle shall pass away, etc etc.)

Interesting item in The Australian on Monday 17 May (p 9): "The Copenhagen Post surveys Danish children’s views on Princess Mary": One tyke said: "When Mary and Frederik get married, Mary will turn into a pregnant lady". Marriage first, then pregnancy? Maybe there's hope for the Scandinavians yet.

It's a neat reversal. 2003 was the year when we saw a man from Denmark travel to a small island in the southern hemisphere to be crowned. Now 2004 is the year when we see a woman from a small island in the southern hemisphere travel to Denmark to be crowned. Karmic balance maintained.

UPDATE: Josh the Fearsome Pirate will be pleased: Mary has converted from Presbyterianism to the Evangelical Lutheran state church of Denmark. (Although this report here from the Copenhagen Post says she wasn't legally required to.) One imagines many sleepless nights of soul-wrestling: "Hmmmm... marrying a prince and having a royal wedding... But then, Jesus did say 'This is my body!'.... Choices, choices..."

THE TENSION MOUNTS...ON WITH THE BODY COUNT!

For a sobering statistical view of the conflict in Iraq, consult
Iraq Coalition Casualties

Unfortunately, Iraqi casualties are not indicated.

"Hold the line... You know you can't quit until it's won... 'Cos Oliver’s army is here to sta-a-aaay..."

Life, once again, continues its annoying habit of imitating The Onion:

(#1) […] 80s retro fever is sweeping the executive branch, with President Bush and his nostalgia-crazed colleagues going wild for the people and policies of that “totally tubular” decade.

“The 80s were so awesome”, said Bush, grabbing a handful of Jelly Bellys from a jar on his Oval Office desk.

[…] Nearby, vice-president and fellow 80s-lover Dick Cheney reclined on a couch. “You know who else we should nominate?” Cheney asked. “Robert Bork for Supreme Court!” “Bork? Who’s that?” Bush responded. “Oh, wait – that’s the arch-conservative judge with the funny little chin beard, right? God, I totally forgot about that guy! Yeah, we should definitely nominate him!”

Bush also tapped Donna Rice for White House press secretary but retracted the offer when he realised he was thinking of Fawn Hall. “I always get those two confused”, Bush told Cheney. “I know one was with Oliver North and the shredder, and the other was with Gary Hart and the Monkey Business, but I forget which was which. Then there’s Jessica Hahn. She was the one with Jim Bakker, right? Or was it Jimmy Swaggart? Anyway, I want the Ollie North gal”. Bush praised Hall, calling her “a major-league babe”. Cheney affirmed the appraisal, saying, “Yeah, big-time”.

[…] “Even the enemies were cooler in the 80s”, Bush continued. “Back then, there was Russia, Libya, and Iran. Now, those were some bad guys. What do we have today? North Korea? How lame is that?”

[…] “As a uniter, not a divider, I recognise the importance of feel-good gestures like Hands Across America, USA For Africa, and that 'That’s What Friends Are For' song”, Bush said. “Back in the 80s, people used to come together and lend a hand to those in need. It’s important to make the occasional token effort toward helping others”.

Added Bush: “We also need more Americans like New Jersey’s own Bruce Springsteen, in whose songs live the hopes and dreams of every one of us”.

[…] Though committed to leading America into the future, Bush said he can’t help but wish he could have been president back in the decade of Pac-Man, skinny ties, and illegal arms deals with Nicaragua.

“Man, that would’ve been so cool to be the leader of the free world back then”, Bush said. “I was born 15 years too late”.

-“80s Retro Craze Sweeps Executive Branch”, The Onion (24 January 2001)

(#2) [This columnist] is delighted that US troops have captured Saddam Hussein, the murderous former dictator of Iraq. But couldn’t they have given this military operation a better code name than "Operation Red Dawn"? Red Dawn is a campy Cold War-era movie depicting the invasion of the United States by Soviet and Cuban troops. A band of youths from a small town in Colorado (including, pre-Dirty Dancing, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey) name themselves the “Wolverines” and mount a guerrilla resistance against the totalitarians who murdered their families[...]. The tip-off that Operation Red Dawn was named deliberately after the movie is that the two hiding places scouted out by the combat team were code-named “Wolverine I” and “Wolverine II”. (Saddam was found near Wolverine II). [...]

- “Good Mission, Bad Name: Why bring the movie Red Dawn into it?”, by Timothy Noah, Slate.com (Monday, 15 December 2003)

(#3) […] Many of Operation Iraqi Freedom’s premises have proved false, and its costs and sorrows are undeniable. Yet progress continues to be made, and the potential of a democratic Iraq is unmistakable. With a little perseverance it may still fulfill some of that promise. The quagmire conservatives should be aware of some of the legitimate good news coming from Iraq, or at least listen to the advice of singer Corey Hart in his 80s hit, “Never Surrender”, “Just a little more time is all we’re asking for/Cause just a little more time could open closing doors/… /And when the night is cold and dark you can see you can see light/Cause no one can take away your right/To fight and to never surrender”.

- "Cheer Up, Hawks", by Charles Rousseaux, Tech Central Station(13 May 2004)

Be very afraid, in case Donald Rumsfeld unveils his plans to turn the moon into what he likes to call a [waggles fingers] "Death Star"[waggles fingers]. -- Guarded by "Ewoks".

UPDATE: And of course Andrew McCarthy is involved too. Can Scott Baio and Molly Ringwald be far behind?

VIRAL MARKETING


What is this stuff?

Grey Interactive

I checked my disk cache of temporary internet files and discovered that I had downloaded a WMV advertising a certain product ("Cheap Tickets") which I had no recollection of doing. No problem you say, ads are part of the internet and part of life. Wait a minute, I say. This ad was 1.82MB big!!! A BIG problem for people on dial-up (like me).

DEATH to viral marketing (A quote from the site: "Web visitors become brand advocates when we lever their interest with pass-along capabilities". How stupid are we people. STOP being a victim of marketing sharps in pinstripe suits or trendy sunglasses or whatever).

If you get sent any of this rubbish, DELETE IT, and DO NOT BUY OR ENDORSE THEIR PRODUCT.