You've found Father McKenzie. But are you really looking for Eleanor Rigby?

Monday, September 06, 2004

Lucasfilm sequels...

From John:

I guess the problem with repeated sequels to a grand 'space opera' movie like 'Star Wars' is that the 'gee whizz' magic gradually wears thinner and thinner with each instalment, and audiences become more aware of plot holes and characterisation flaws.

Although, I must admit that 'Star Wars' sequels in the tradition of various s.f. Grand Masters would lack something. Just imagine.....

'Jedi of Dune' by Frank Herbert - Where Luke conquers the Empire with an Army of Religious Zealot Sandpeople and sets up a regime worse than Palpatine and Vader's. Most of the Rebels are executed for 'heresy' and the whole thing is somehow justified by evolutionary imperatives known only to a mysterious sisterhood.

'Foundation and Empire Strike Back'- Luke, seeing through Obi-Wan and Yoda's meaningless explanations, discovers a means by which the Force is able to be technologically detected and blocked and finds true happiness as a scientist. Princess Leia formulates the laws of psychohistory and has a long, didactic conversation with Han Solo, who goes on to cause the Empire to self-destruct using clever trade tactics.Little do our heroes suspect that R2-D2 and C-3PO (who are actually ancient telepathic robots, R. Daneel and Giskard) are the real reason for all rebel victories, patiently and benignly shepherding the Galaxy whilst pretending to be mechanical comedians.

'Star Wars Scream with Blood on Harlequin's Birthday' by Harlan Ellison - Luke and Darth Vader turn on the Emperor, killing him and setting up the Utopia Meditative Co-operative, where Puppies live in people's scio-skins. Chewbacca eats Han and Leia. C-3PO and R2-D2 take over a Sandcrawler and torture the Jawas inside in a variety of hideous ways.

And that's not to mention 'Lord Vader's Castle' by Robert Silverberg, 'The Hitch-hiker's Guide to Endor' by Douglas Adams and 'Clone Supermen are our Superiors' by Robert Heinlein.

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