THORPE OUT

Or so goes the headline at news.com.au. No, it doesn't mean that Thorpe has come out of the claoset as a homosexual, but the headline implies this.

For those not in the know, the Thorpedo has been disqualified from competing in his best event and an almost cert at getting a Gold at Athens.

This is another typical example of bloody-minded bureaucartic Australianess. It's definately in our national character. Along with incredible slackness. More on that one later.

Back to Thorpe.

Imagine the headlines overseas:

TEAM USA GOES FOR GOLD IN 400M
After last night's shock disqualification of Ian Thorpe from the 400m at the Australian OlympicS wimming trials, all systems are go for a USA clean sweep of the pool at Athens. "It's gold, gold gold for Team USA, " said Team Manger Randulph Suppusio III. "Australia, you suck. This would never happen here."

SHOCK ENTRY FROM UZBEKISTAN
After initially declining to contest any aquatic events at Athens and concentrate on women's shot put, the UOC (Uzbek Olympic Committe) have decide to enter the men's 400m freestyle. "Without Ian Thorpe, there's an outside chance that we could get actually through the first round of heats this year," team spokesperson Nahangaluk Uzbekahddum said.

JAPANESE TOUR OPERATORS OUTRAGED
Without the presence of drawcard Ian Thorpe in the men's 400m free at this year's Athens Olympics, Japan's struggling tour industry would be unable to cope. According to Hakoje Nakamore, "Ian Thorpe is the cornerstone of our Olympic package. We will go belly up without him"


People, it's NOT the Olympics, It's the TRIALS. You are only cutting off your nose to spite your face. Australia as a nation loses - and other nations win. Good on them I say.