You've found Father McKenzie. But are you really looking for Eleanor Rigby?

Tuesday, May 04, 2004


Yes, that's right, folks, back to the Victory again last Saturday night. Two Saturday nights out in a row at the same venue - this must be a record for me. Now, I'm not usually one to kiss and tell but this time I took my job of reviewing Brisbane's pub scene seriously and had a really good scope of the premises. As it was reasonably early on the night (around 9:00ish) the various bars, beergardens and sprawl lounges weren't exactly overflowing, but this did give me a decent chance to really eyeball the features of said pub. Now, an unintended consequence of all this roving was that whenever I poked my head into the next room, antechamber or open-air vomitorium, all conversation stopped and dozens of pairs of bleary beery blood-shot eyes tried to lock onto mine. This is not just paranoia! Most people find their little niche and stick to it. "Floaters" winging their way from place to place sans beer glass / jug look out of place. Next time I shall have an alcoholic receptacle in hand at least to look the part.

The intention of the evening was to sample the karaoke but first I had to wait through the last two quarters of the St Kilda-Brisbane Lions match. A thrilling contest I can assure you but not really one which had my heart racing or my feet pacing. Indeed, whenever and exultant cry went up from the assembled punters I would join in, irrespective of whether it was the Lions or the Saints scoring. I though this would make me look non-partisan but by the end this made me resemble the United nations in commitment. Final score Saints: win, Lions: lose.

At this stage the karaoke was set up and karaoke guy got up and gave his all in a fantastic rendition of the perennial crowd-pleaser "Piano man". There was not a dry eye left in the house after this and I nearly cried into my glass of lemonade too. This initiative was just a warm-up for what was to follow. An awesomely awful performance of Pink's "Let's get this party started", which was a sentiment we all shared by the end of the song, having decided better lyrics were "Let's get this singer finished". Now for my turn, a superb performance of Don McLeans' American Pie which I am sure brought down the house.

I stayed for a truly awful pairing of two drunken parakeets squawking their way tunelessly (and verse-lessly) through "Mr Jones" before I had to exit, stage left. I would have loved to have stayed but it's important to finish on a high, no? Some things are better left unsaid (and unsung!). Final Score: Me: win, Karaoke competition: lose. I rest my case.

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