White House Debuts Iraq War Infomercial

WASHINGTON, DC—In an attempt to gain support among idle and sleepless Americans, the Bush Administration made its case for the continuing war in Iraq in a one-hour paid program that premiered early Tuesday morning.

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The infomercial was interspersed with glowing pretaped testimonials from coalition partners, American soldiers, and Iraqi business leaders. Australian Prime Minister John Howard was particularly kinetic in his endorsement of the Iraq war plan.

"Don and Linda, I'm here to let you in on the world's best-kept secret," said a wide-eyed, floral-shirted Howard from the beautiful Dunk Island resort off the coast of Cairns, Australia. "The strategy for victory in Iraq is working! Last January, Iraqis went to the polls and elected leaders for a transitional government and drafted a working constitution establishing unheard-of rights for the people of Iraq! And in December, they elected representatives to the National Assembly!"

"Amazing!" Howard added, arms outstretched.