You've found Father McKenzie. But are you really looking for Eleanor Rigby?

Thursday, December 04, 2003

THE GUARDIAN DEITY OF THE PLANET... I'm Protestant enough by conviction to be outraged, rather than simply amused, at this list of the grandiose titles the Emperor of North Korea has bestowed upon himself:

Eternal Sun, the Guardian Deity of the Planet and the Sun of Socialism are among the titles used to refer to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il. [...] The North’s state-run Korean Central Broadcasting Station says a total of 1,200 titles and phrases have been created and used to refer to Kim. “Prominent leaders from 160 nation [sic] across the world have used at least 1,200 tiles [sic] to honour our Great General (Kim Jong-Il)”, it said in a recent report. The references include Lode Star of the 21st Century, Peerless Leader, Beloved Leader, Great Leader, Dear Leader, Great Suryong (chieftain), the Sun of Revolution, the Sun of Life, the Sun of Juche (self-reliance, the ruling idea of the country), and the Fatherly Leader of all Koreans, among others.

The oxen reckon that if you put melted butter and some coriander on the grass you're eating, Kimbo, it tastes better. It'll soften the pain when American troops shoot your sons and anointed heirs like dogs and display their bodies in downtown Pyongyang while you hide behind your dyed Elvis quiff in a bunker somewhere. (Who knows what grandiose blasphemies Saddam might have bestowed on himself had his pals Chirac and Putin managed to hold off the US invasion until he could get his nukes?).

And you might want to be careful with the "Peerless Leader" title, too. Makes you sound not unlike cartoonish super-villain, yes?

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