Union of the snake

Vale Steve Irwin, a man who fit 88 years of living into only 44 years of life.

The first time I saw Crocodile Hunter on TV, I assumed it was a Glyn Nicholas spoof. How wrong I was. Glyn's real spoof, Russell Coight's All Aussie Outback Adventures, is as sedate as an English butler compared to the real Steve Irwin.

On the principle of nil nisi bonum de mortuis, now is an appropriate day to correct the misapprehension put about by The Onion in December 2002, with its faux-headline "Crocodile Hunter The Same Way In Bed". Let this "bug-eyed, khaki-clad yokel" speak for himself as to that point:

Andrew Denton: You said that getting married was the scariest day of your life. Why was that?

Steve Irwin: Scariest day of my life, mate. ‘Cause, um...

Andrew Denton: Did you have a khaki tuxedo?

Steve Irwin: I had… I don’t know, some penguin suit and it was black.

Andrew Denton: Yeah?

Steve Irwin: It wasn’t khaki, so I’m already out of my element. And a tie! I was panicking. Absolutely panicking...

Andrew Denton: So what got you over the moment of panic?

Steve Irwin: Um... (Laughs) I don’t know. I made it. I just made it. I just beared with it and got there. But I was panicked, mate. I was so panicked. My wife’s going to kill me when I tell you this, but I’ll tell you ‘cause it’s this kind of show. He just sucks it out of you, doesn’t he? And I’ve seen that about your show! So I’m so scared, so anxious, so incredibly out of my element, you know, we get back to the hotel… uh, the motel - you know, nice honeymoon suite and that - and I... I couldn’t consummate the marriage, mate! I was freaked!

Andrew Denton: Really?

Steve Irwin: Yeah. I sat there and ate a steak instead...

- Interview with Andrew Denton on "Enough Rope", ABC-TV (6 October 2003)

Goodbye, Steve.

UPDATE 1: An eyewitness report to the contrary. How in blazes did I manage to glean three (3) news items on this topic over the 2002-05 quinquennium?!