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The following news report from ninemsn leaves us, well, you know...

Cruise is a Satanist, says radical Christian leader

Tuesday Jun 26 06:00 AEST

By ninemsn staff

A controversial Christian group has slammed Tom Cruise and Scientology in a public bid to help people learn the truth about what they say is a Satanic cult.

“Yes, Tom Cruise worships Satan," said Mark Dice, the founder of apocalyptic US Christian organisation The Resistance.

"I don’t say this as an insult, or as an ad hominem attack. I seriously and literally mean he worships Satan, although most occultists, call him Lucifer the light bearer."

Dice, also an author and commentator, has made several controversial public claims in recent years — including that the World Trade Centre attacks were a CIA plot.

Now he says he is worried celebrities like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are enticing people to join the Scientology.

"In the Garden of Eden, Satan said if Man took the forbidden fruit that he would become just like god, actually becoming equal to God, and that is what occultists people believe."

"They believe they themselves, are gods," Mark Dice claims, before turning his comments directly to the Top Gun star.

"If you want a real religion, try going to a Christian Church, Tom, it's free."

Dice, who wrote the book The Resistance Manifesto under the Terminator-inspired alias John Connor, was in the news just a few weeks ago when he announced plans to hold a series of anti-Paris Hilton demonstrations outside Hilton hotels in the US.

On his MySpace website Dice is pictured smiling and holding a gun, with the caption: "Heard of the 2nd amendment?".

Paris worth a Mass?

Was blind, but now she doth see... Isn't "world peace" and "saving the rhinos in Africa" supposed to be somewhere on this checklist?

Imprisoned hotel heiress Paris Hilton has said she believes God has given her a new chance and she plans to stop acting dumb and put her influence to good use.

Hilton called television journalist Barbara Walters from the medical wing of a Los Angeles jail, where she is being held for violating probation in a drink-driving case, and Walters recounted the conversation on her ABC television show, The View. "I'm not the same person I was," Hilton told Walters. "I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance." [...]

"I told my attorneys not to appeal the judge's decision," Hilton said, describing being in jail as "by far the hardest thing I have ever done".... When she is released, Hilton said, she might like to help in the fields of breast cancer or multiple sclerosis, diseases that her grandmothers suffered, or build a "Paris Hilton playhouse" for sick children.

Hilton, who said other inmates had been friendly, added that her skin was very dry because she was not allowed any moisturiser. "It doesn't matter," she said, "I'm not that superficial girl. I haven't looked in the mirror since I got here."

- "Hilton says God gave her a new chance" (Tuesday 12 June 2007) http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=272240

And as for the simple life...

Now that Paris Hilton is back in jail for the long haul, she will be forced to do the thing she fears most in prison -- use the toilet. During her first three-day stint behind bars, Hilton was reportedly so worried guards would photograph her on the toilet that she refused to eat or drink anything. The diet left the hotel heiress seriously ill, and prompted prison officials to send her home to serve the rest of the sentence in house arrest. But the prison break was overruled by an LA Court at the weekend, and now Hilton is once again facing the horror of using the stainless steel lavatory -- situated in plain view of prison guards. "She was absolutely terrified that one of the guards or staffers would get her with the cell-phone cam and it would wind up on the Internet," a source told the NY Daily News yesterday.

-- "Paris 'terrified of the prison toilet'" (Monday 11 June 2007) http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=272283

This is a job for Ewan McGregor, or else Jim, Kevin, Oz and Stiffler.