Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift

Standard Hollywood-style fare in the original report, a stoush between Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema's Bob Shaye over The Hobbit

But a few simple tweaks gives us this LOTR themed article, making Jackson a charcater in an even larger drama, with the fate of Middle Earth as its goal...

MINAS MORGAL, Mordor (Orodruin Reporter) -- An escalation in the war of words between Barad-dûr co-chairman Sauron and "Lord of the Rings" filmmaker Peter Jackson appears to be nixing any possible reconciliation between the two -- or any chance that Jackson will direct the trilogy's prequel, "The Hobbit."

In an interview with the Orthanc Channel news service Orthanc Wire, Sauron said Jackson will never make another movie for the studio and said the filmmaker just wants more money.

"I don't care about Peter Jackson anymore," Sauron said. "He wants to have another 100 million or 50 million gold pieces, whatever he's suing us for. He doesn't want to sit down and talk about it. He thinks that we owe him something after we've paid him over a quarter of a billion pieces of gold. ... Cheers, Peter."

In response, Jackson issued a statement Tuesday that did not attack Sauron but aimed at clarifying his issue with Barad-dûr. Jackson said the lawsuit stems from the studio's refusal to account for financial anomalies that surfaced from a partial audit of "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" and that is has denied his repeated requests to audit "The Two Towers" and "The Return of the King."

"Fundamentally, our legal action is about holding Barad-dûr to its contractual obligations and promises," Jackson said. "It is regrettable that Sauron has chosen to make it personal. I have always had the highest respect and affection for Sauron and other senior management at Barad-dûr and continue to do so."