This'll hard be

"Lesson I: The second person pronoun, whether singular or plural, whether the subject or the object of the verb, is 'you', not 'y'all y'all..."

Oh, wait. Wrong Georgia. Okay, then, maybe this will work.

Yes, that's what the voters want these days - politicians who are 100% on-message and predictable (see: 2010 federal election, results of)

The Queensland Opposition Leader has sacked a policy adviser and reprimanded several others for jokingly proposing that teachers should be issued with Tasers. John-Paul Langbroek says he is angry at the staff members for creating a joke policy proposing that Tasers be used as form of behaviour management in schools. He says it was in extremely poor taste.

"It's conduct that does not accord with the high standards that I expect from my office," he said. "I've got a history in my family of a father who's a retired teacher, a mother who's a retired library aid and of course it's not anything the LNP would seriously consider as a policy for behaviour management in schools. I think it's very disappointing that sometimes in an office situation people can lose sight of the main game and in this case clearly that's been done. It's not to the standards that I expect and that's why action has been taken and will be taken."

- "LNP staffer sacked over joke Taser-for-teachers policy", ABC News (26 September 2010)

Hey, Jean-Claude... this was obviously a joke, okay? No normal person out there in marginal-seat land really, actually thought this was a real actual, LNP policy. We're not idiots. We realised full well  that it was meant as some light amusement, like Bill Hayden's "drover's dog" comment, or NaSto Despo's "Men Of Senate" calendar, or Joh Bjelke-Petersen telling the media he was going to award himself a knighthood, or... oh, never mind.

I did not know till now that the usages of Sulva were so common among you

A SEX-starved businessman was so hung up on his ex-girlfriend after she dumped him that he paid $18,000 to recreate her as a life-sized sex doll. The 50-year-old man put together a collection of photos of his ex and told Italian adult toymaker Diego Bortolin: "I want it just like her but with bigger boobs," Italy's Il Messaggero newspaper said. Mr Bortolin, who hasn't named the man, creates extremely realistic sex dolls at the factory behind his shop, named "Temptations" in English, in Treviso, Italy. "She was a smiling blonde girl but he wanted bigger boobs and a curvier backside," Mr Bortolin said. "Our normal dolls are very realistic and everything works just like the real thing. Mr Bortolin said he usually charges around $US 5000 for the dolls, but that this particular project was more expensive "because we had to replicate everything, right down to the shape of her nails and teeth." The doll weighs 58 kg and is about 1.6m tall. Mr Bortolin said the doll is fully flexible and can take on any movement or position a human can. "She is now the perfect girlfriend as far as I can see," Mr Bortolin said.

- " Man replaces ex-girlfriend with custom-made sex doll" (2 September 2010)